Wish 2 [Special Edition]

Before I tell you what wish #2 is I want to assure you that I only intend to use this wish for good. Wish #1 has some inherent temptations, but I'm sure I can handle them—with wish #2 I'm a little shaky in my resolve. I'm telling you so that you can hold me to it on the off chance that I come into any lamps.

Okay, we ready? Wish #2:

The ability to sing any note that these guys can hit:

Steve Perry¹


Sting²


Bryan Adams³


I have two very nice talents that, when paired as they are in me, actually act as a curse. They are (1) the ability to sing all the time without ever being even remotely embarrassed and (2) a nice baritone. I'm doomed to have the heart of a power-ballad lion but only the pipes of a medium-sized walrus. It's a falsetto world, and all my favorites seem to be sung by super tenors. Thus my second wish.

I know, I know: I should've wished for Roy Orbison and Harry Nilsson's skills, but I'm not greedy. Besides, it's only the range I need—I'll rely on my own hard work to fill that range with more raw emotion and croonitude than you can shake a tambourine at.

Because this is a special edition post, I've loaded it with bonus content. Feel free to click on any of the names above to hear a sample of what I'm talking about.


¹ The linked video above is the only logical choice for a Steve Perry tribute, but, in case you were interested, my recent favorite is this one. It starts slow, but by the end it really gets romping, especially when the piano cuts into the mix. Also, click the picture itself to see one of the best things ever created.
² I can't tell you how much I love Sting. It only makes it better that all his songs are awesome and all his music videos are total garbage. I'm usually too embarrassed to even watch them. However, nothing is as awesomely embarrassing as what you'll see if you click his picture. Dune, anyone?
³ Highlight of my entire summer. For the highlight of my whole life (and certainly the most oft-linked video on this entire blog), click Mr. Adam's beautiful face (what is Sting wearing!?).