Weeklong Lapse of Reason

Sorry all that I haven't been posting much recently (sorry I haven't been responding to emails either). Do you ever have those days or weeks when everything is just muddy in your head? I've been having one of those.

I was up on campus just now, trying to grade papers, trying to study scriptures, trying to revise essays, trying to live rightly—and I just wasn't getting anywhere. It was all just a mess upstairs: nothing was clicking. I was reading words without getting any of the meaning. I was thinking thoughts as though down a long dark hallway or through the far end of a garden hose. I wasn't even sure if I was really seeing anything in front of me; everything my eyes caught sight of instantly took my focus away from something else and simultaneously failed to make any impression.

With my final wit, I was able to recognize the futility of continuing as planned, so I packed up and walked out. And you know what happened? I hadn't walked more than a block or two when I had several very good, clear thoughts come to me in a row. (I wrote them down!) Was it the crisp night air of autumn? Was it the change of scenery?

Who knows. (Or is that, "Who knows?"?) All I can say is that now I am back home and already I am having trouble concentrating long enough to keep this coherent. Is it a vitamin deficiency? Should I just go outside and work while walking around? Should I give up and watch a movie?

Life is such a terrible mystery.