Saturday, October 13, 2007

Weeklong Lapse of Reason

Sorry all that I haven't been posting much recently (sorry I haven't been responding to emails either). Do you ever have those days or weeks when everything is just muddy in your head? I've been having one of those.

I was up on campus just now, trying to grade papers, trying to study scriptures, trying to revise essays, trying to live rightly—and I just wasn't getting anywhere. It was all just a mess upstairs: nothing was clicking. I was reading words without getting any of the meaning. I was thinking thoughts as though down a long dark hallway or through the far end of a garden hose. I wasn't even sure if I was really seeing anything in front of me; everything my eyes caught sight of instantly took my focus away from something else and simultaneously failed to make any impression.

With my final wit, I was able to recognize the futility of continuing as planned, so I packed up and walked out. And you know what happened? I hadn't walked more than a block or two when I had several very good, clear thoughts come to me in a row. (I wrote them down!) Was it the crisp night air of autumn? Was it the change of scenery?

Who knows. (Or is that, "Who knows?"?) All I can say is that now I am back home and already I am having trouble concentrating long enough to keep this coherent. Is it a vitamin deficiency? Should I just go outside and work while walking around? Should I give up and watch a movie?

Life is such a terrible mystery.


Megs said...

Answer: yes. I have been doing this all week - zero productivity and also zero sleep - lots of frustration and guilt if I try to do anything but work on the mountains of stuff I need to do. Give up, do something else, stop driving yourself crazy.

Kirby said...

So, is this at all an excuse to possibly contest the grade I'll be receiving on my paper?

David Grover said...

No, cause I graded your paper today, after the funk had lifted. Why do you think it's been two whole weeks since you turned the dang things in?

Hail Mondays.